Wrath of the Titans preview

Coming March 30th to theaters will be the second installment of Jonathan Liebesman titan series. After seeing Clash of the Titans I was not impressed, and share the same attitude towards this movie. No matter how many special effects are used, i cannot imagine this movie being anywhere near the top 5 flicks to be released this spring.

In the Wrath of the Titans the gods have failed to protect Earth from the fury of the titans whom have recently escaped from captivity. A variety of beasts and warriors now raid the countryside looking for the next throat to cut. The rest of the plot beyond that will most likely be nonsense much like the first movie.

The good news is that the trailer does look inviting. The special effects do look amazing and demand respect no matter what kind of genre your into. So if you liked the Clash of the Titans even the smallest bit, i believe this movie will be an even better fit for your liking. But overall The Wrath of the Titans will fall under the category of rotten, along with numerous movies that have come out within the last few years.

Grade Prediction: F (43%) 

Trespass- Joel Schumacher

Nicholas Cage stars in the heart pounding crime drama Trespass, where a family must face a home invasion of deranged criminals. The plot to rob this very wealthy family took a lot of planning, and a lot of balls. They are after whatever is behind the door of the safe, but the only way to open it is by the thumb print scan of Kyle (Cage). But he is not going to give that up so easily. With a plot of his own Kyle is willing to put the safety of his family in danger to protect his assets. What trick is up your sleeve this time Mr. Cage. I am guessing that by living in a house that is as secure as Fort Knox he has always had a back up plan if anyone breached his fortress. And i am assuming that in the end a premeditated scheme will blow our minds, and the mastermind will find a way to overcome adversity.

The story line seems to get complex as the motives of these thieves becomes undone. This team was out stalking Kyle as he was out doing the usually high roller business. Jonah Collins is a familiar face for the Miller family and as he saw Kyle signing for diamonds and exchanging cash with associates in the open he grew more and more motivated to take action. There will be quite the stand off in this one. Kyle will have to debate the intentions of these ski masked villains. Will his family be safe? How the hell can he turn the tide going against a gang of thugs with shottys and nothing to lose? That's an easy question, because he's Nicholas Cage and he can bullshit his way through anything. But from the trailer it looks like Nicole Kidman does a lot more fighting than him and he's just there for moral support. And then you give that man a chair and he just turned into your worst nightmare. Good save Kyle.

I can't find a reason for this movie to be top notch. Especially when its release date is smack dab in the middle of a lot better titles coming out. If your into these types of movies then you will probably enjoy this one. The 2005 film Hostage shares a similar story line. Not that great of a movie even though it featured Bruce Willis. So if you enjoyed that then Trespass will most likely hit on the same note. Movies like these always have a fair share of nail biting moments that will have you yelling "Get the hell out of there!". Or it could have you yelling "Ya ok, like that would ever happen". I tend to stick with asking the question "Dude, just kill him". Most of the time, when a movie raises questions not based on the complexity of the storyline, it tends to be crap. So we may need to stock up on aerosols before October 14th.

Grade Prediction: F (43%)
Rating: R  

The Thing- Matthijs van Heijningen Jr.

Coming out on October 14th is the remake of the 1982 sci-fi horror starring Kurt Russel, The Thing. The film introduces us to a recent discovery lodged in a ice shelf of Antarctica. Traveling across the globe to study this finding is the young graduate student Kate Lloyd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead). Her skepticism about the creature is ignored by others at first, but they all soon realize that the discovery of the century will turn their expected fame into sure death.


Also starring in The Thing is Joel Edgerton as Sam Carter, Eric Christian Olsen as Adam Goodman, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje as Derek Jameson, and Ulrich Thomson as Dr. Sander Halvorson. It seems to be a pretty good cast that will all most likely perish. In my opinion Edgerton (Warrior) will most likely steal the show and try to be the hero that wields a pick axe and torches that spider demon with a flame thrower. But where would Mr. Carter be with out his fox intellect Kate. This camp will definitely be a shit show, and it will probably start and end with the kick ass tandem of Edgerton and Winstead.


I can't see a movie that goes by the title The Thing to be any good. It was successful in the 80's because it introduced pretty cool special effects for that time. But this is 2011 and Hollywood has explored the sci-fi genre a ton, and we have seen a lot of special effects that make the alien species a believable movie prop. So it will take a lot to impress an audience enough to buy a ticket to see this movie. From the trailer it seems to lack an in depth plot. They discover an alien, it goes nuts and kills people by copying cells in their body, and either a few will survive or everyone will die. There is the sci-fi, horror, and whatever else you were looking for in the movie, all in the trailer. 


Grade Prediction: F (51%)
Rating: R                                                                

Immortals- Tarsem Singh

Bloodthirsty King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke) has declared war in search for the Epirus Bow, which is a weapon from the god Ares that can unleash the madness and brutality of Titans, who have been imprisoned by the gods for a very long time. Standing in his way is the peasent, Theseus (Henry Cavill), the true candidate chosen by Zeus himself to rid humanity of the evil that plagues it. And bearing the bow, he will bring down a shit storm of violence on top of the King, and save the bronze beauty in the mean time.

It is quite obvious that this movie was made from the producers of 300. The darkly lit cameo lighting, slow motion fight sequences, detailed desolate landscape, and intense war cries are exact replicas of 300, and Clash of the Titans for that matter. Clash of Titans, in being a complete flop looks to share even more similarities with Immortals. 300 set the benchmark for ancient mythology in 21st century Hollywood, and anything coming after seems to inevitably fall much shorter than what the creators would hope for. The reason these stories are such a bore is because we have already seen them in a different form. Corny battle speeches and mythological creatures have added to the cons of any present day movie. Even this year we have seen Conan the Barbarian take an unexpected flop in the box office, because it just included way too much artificial content. And just by watching the trailer most people will have an idea of how they will react after seeing this film, bored.

But there does seem to be one positive attribute coming out of this movie, Frieda Pinto. The beautiful Indian princess that has previously starred in movies such as The Rise of the Planet of the Apes, and Slumdog Millionaire.

Don't let the special effects fool you, this movie will be a disaster come November 11th (U.S.). Theseus will save all of humanity from the evil king, and the Gods will once again be at peace. And a whole lot of the mythical nonsense in between. There, I just saved you the admission price.

Grade Prediction: F (58%) 

Not Rated

Priest- Scott Charles Stewart

Another Vampire installment of the 21st century, and yet another fail. Priest failed to capture my full attention for more than 15 minutes. Through all the ridiculous knife throwing and sporadic gun fire it was really hard to find a plot that made sense, or one that was interesting in the least bit. But like any movie that sits the Catholic church at the reigns of human civilization, it is doomed for an inevitable atrocious review. And that is exactly what i will give it.

Paul Bettany stars as the Main Priest who carries on God's miracle of being a lightning fast vampire killing machine. The Priests were a cult formed in defiance against the vampire hoards that tormented the human race since the beginning of time. After winning the war they assimilated back into society with the rest of the church's followers, only to be considered outcasts. Their discrimination is a little odd to me, aren't they war heroes? If it wasn't for them then all of society would be scavenging the wasteland in search of a corpse feed, ungrateful little pricks. Bettany's character is essentially the leader of the Priests that goes rogue after hearing about his daughters kidnapping by a gang of vampires. In a matter of hours without any breaks, him and his scrub cowboy side kick (Cam Gigandet) track down the gang of bandits, bust through every line of defense, and save the girl just in time. Great story. There is literally nothing left to say about this film, what you see is what you get. And what you get are fight sequences with slow spinning blades, monstrous vampires, an evil boss, and bad ass forehead tats. These are all the same things you can see in the trailer, so check that out if your interested. 

What i did enjoy most about this movie was the opening animations that told the story through a timeline. It was something that you don't see often in movies but it gave me more respect for the graphic novel. I just wish the director incorporated it more throughout the film, and really utilized this to create something more original. If Priest went back and forth between graphic novel animations, and real life footage with special effects then maybe Stewart could have saved it from being an absolute flop. At the end of the movie there did seem to be a transition that would set up for sequel. And if there is, God help us from those evil vampires, and God help us from having to bare sight of this terrible film. 

Grade: F (36%) 

Rating- PG-13

Actors: 

Paul Bettany: Recent Work ( Iron Man, Master and Commander, A Beautiful Mind ) Future Work (The Avengers) 

Karl Urban: Recent Work ( Star Trek, The Bourne Supremacy, Lord of the Rings ) Future Work (Dredd, Loft, Untitled Star Trek Sequel ) 

Cam Gigadent: Recent Work (The Roommate, Easy A, Never Back Down ) Future Work (Trespass, Making Change, Red Sky) 

Maggie Q: Recent Work (Live Free or Die Hard, Balls of Fury, Mission Impossible 3, Rush Hour 2 ) Future Work ( Nikita (TV)) 

Red Riding Hood- Catherine Hardwicke

Just a complete butchering of an unforgettable classic childhood story. There is nothing scary, romantic, and dramatic about this movie because it is so hard to believe. The acting in this flick is atrocious and similar to the acting level in the Twilight series. There's the hottie (Amanda Seyfried) and the hunks who walk around with a fiery attitude and minimal clothing on. And it was very fascinating how even in this time period the young men could style their hair perfectly. Maybe they use sap or honey? And if you were looking forward to seeing the big bad wolf, well hes nothing really to jump out of your seat about. Red Riding Hood is a full 100 minute mind lapse that you will never get back, and never remember. There is no reason for this movie to ever cross your mind as being a possible rainy day rental. Too fake, too boring.

Killer Elite- Gary McKendry

On September 23rd the release of the new action packed movie Killer Elite will come out and will surely be a bust. Jason Statham has now raked in two great actors into his crappy movies. Clive Owen has been in some excellent films including Inside Man and Children of Men but is now starring in a film where he will probably shoot Statham in the head 6 times, stab him in the heart, and sever his spinal cord without him actually dying. De Niro is a legend but  has shifted his career into acting as a secondary role in upcoming movies (Limitless, Machete, Blah). We all know who De Niro is so i don't think he is worried about his image at this point.

In the trailer of Killer Elite there was a massive amount of explosions, gun fire, and ridiculous Statham stunts. A lot of crap that i don't really care for because its physically impossible to do half the stuff Statham does. I think the only thing that can save this movie is the British accent, always nice to hear. Directors really have to stop giving reasons for him to do these kind of feats. Stop killing his best friend, stop kidnapping his wife, and stop trying to recruit him into a covert ops team. And who the hell keeps under estimating this guy, seriously! "This guy is good", "You have no idea", oh you don't? Not even the slightest clue? At one point in his life his heart was running through a car battery (Crank). How about we slow it down a bit Jason, maybe a drama or science fiction movie?

Yea i don't think the trailers theme song helps them out. A little corny, and a little outdated. It just gives me a reassurance of how dumb this movie really is. A perfect movie to start out the fall, it will fit right in with the rest of the crappy autumn showings after the summer hang over. O, hello Yvonne Strahovski, me likey. I hope she is the only one who survives this action packed flop.

Grade Prediction: F (48%) 
Rating: R