Another Vampire installment of the 21st century, and yet another fail. Priest failed to capture my full attention for more than 15 minutes. Through all the ridiculous knife throwing and sporadic gun fire it was really hard to find a plot that made sense, or one that was interesting in the least bit. But like any movie that sits the Catholic church at the reigns of human civilization, it is doomed for an inevitable atrocious review. And that is exactly what i will give it.
Paul Bettany stars as the Main Priest who carries on God's miracle of being a lightning fast vampire killing machine. The Priests were a cult formed in defiance against the vampire hoards that tormented the human race since the beginning of time. After winning the war they assimilated back into society with the rest of the church's followers, only to be considered outcasts. Their discrimination is a little odd to me, aren't they war heroes? If it wasn't for them then all of society would be scavenging the wasteland in search of a corpse feed, ungrateful little pricks. Bettany's character is essentially the leader of the Priests that goes rogue after hearing about his daughters kidnapping by a gang of vampires. In a matter of hours without any breaks, him and his scrub cowboy side kick (Cam Gigandet) track down the gang of bandits, bust through every line of defense, and save the girl just in time. Great story. There is literally nothing left to say about this film, what you see is what you get. And what you get are fight sequences with slow spinning blades, monstrous vampires, an evil boss, and bad ass forehead tats. These are all the same things you can see in the trailer, so check that out if your interested.
What i did enjoy most about this movie was the opening animations that told the story through a timeline. It was something that you don't see often in movies but it gave me more respect for the graphic novel. I just wish the director incorporated it more throughout the film, and really utilized this to create something more original. If Priest went back and forth between graphic novel animations, and real life footage with special effects then maybe Stewart could have saved it from being an absolute flop. At the end of the movie there did seem to be a transition that would set up for sequel. And if there is, God help us from those evil vampires, and God help us from having to bare sight of this terrible film.
Grade: F (36%)
Rating- PG-13
Actors:
Paul Bettany: Recent Work ( Iron Man, Master and Commander, A Beautiful Mind ) Future Work (The Avengers)
Karl Urban: Recent Work ( Star Trek, The Bourne Supremacy, Lord of the Rings ) Future Work (Dredd, Loft, Untitled Star Trek Sequel )
Cam Gigadent: Recent Work (The Roommate, Easy A, Never Back Down ) Future Work (Trespass, Making Change, Red Sky)
Maggie Q: Recent Work (Live Free or Die Hard, Balls of Fury, Mission Impossible 3, Rush Hour 2 ) Future Work ( Nikita (TV))
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